Cordele Dispatch, Cordele, GA


November 21, 2012

Life, liberty, and…..nudity?

Pinehurst — Yes, nudity as in nakedness, or as we say in the South, ‘nekkidness.’

Lewis Grizzard has always provided my favorite distinction between being ‘naked’ and being ‘nekkid.’  If you’re naked, you don’t have any clothes on, but if you’re ‘nekkid,’ then you don’t have any clothes on and you’re up to something.

As most of my readers know, I like to keep up with current events and I am now, and always have been, a student of social change and evolution.  So, when a major social change occurs, I take notice.  I don’t always comment on it here in this column, but I do jot it down for future reference.

For instance, when the States of Washington and Colorado passed laws allowing people to possess less than an ounce of marijuana for recreational use, it caught my attention.

That’s not what I want to talk about today. Today I want to talk about San Francisco, a city that already sells more pot than coffee.

San Francisco’s council of supervisors, which is what they call their city council, is voting to decide whether or not to ban public nudity.  You don’t mean to say?

As a matter of fact, I do. You see, they’re not voting on whether or not to ALLOW public nudity, but whether or not to BAN it.  That means that people walking around nekkid in San Francisco has gotten to be so much of a problem, they’re going to have to do something about it.

The district supervisor whose sponsoring the ordinance, Scott Weiner, was the watchdog of justice who sponsored the law, that passed, requiring naked people on public transit to place a ‘cloth’ between their buttocks and the seat they occupied.  How thoughtful.

The proposed law will make it a misdemeanor for anyone over the age of five to display their genitals, perineum, or anal region in a public street, sidewalk, street median, parklet, or plaza.  Apparently you can be nekkid anywhere else, but those few public places and, as far as I can tell, if you go downtown wearing a pair of boxer shorts, you’ll be in compliance with the law.

Incredible as it may seem, people are protesting this violent breach of the public’s right to freedom of speech, interpreted as freedom of expression, in public places.

Mr. Weiner specifically stated that exceptions would be made for various street fairs including regularly organized events such as the Gay Pride Parade and the Folsom Street Fair, which celebrates sadomasochism and other sexual subcultures.  You don’t mean to say?

Thankfully, the news article I read contained a quote from a conscientious protestor who said that he understands that some residents would prefer not to see the body modifications and sex enhancement devices sported by the nudists in the Castro district.  However, the protestor said that he thought Mr. Weiner’s prohibition goes ‘too far in undermining a tradition that keeps San Francisco weird.”

His final quote was, “A few lewd exhibitionists are ruining it for the rest of us.”  You don’t mean to say?

I have to say that, in this instance, I’m on the side of Mr. Weiner and his ordinance requiring boxer shorts on roving nekkid men in public places.

The bad news is that I think it’s going to be a lot more difficult to get this particular genie back in the bottle than it was to let it out.


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