I got a New Puppy!
By Joe Joe Wright
Now some of you might think that I am either crazy (been called that before) or you might say I am lying and well that has been said too unfortunately. The truth is that mine and Angie’s new puppy’s name is “Coach” and I didn’t name it after any of my old coaches; even though I got it from Coach Henry. We had already picked out the name before we got a dog. Anyway let me stop rambling and get to my point. I think this dog can predict the winners of ball games. Now you might be saying how can a 10 week old girl puppy named Coach predict the winner of a ball game. That is a fair question. She is very smart even though she hasn’t quite figured out the potty training arrangement yet but she is getting there. She also can’t go down steps to well by herself but she can climb them no problem. She whines sometimes if you don’t hold her and for heavens sake she wants to follow you to the bathroom. Now how does that make her clairvoyant? Well you see I really do have a crystal ball at the house, I got it from my mom( she would buy anything) and since my eye sight has been failing me these last few years and ( anyone that’s seen me call a baseball game would agree)I thought it would be a good idea to get me a seeing eye dog to look in my crystal ball and translate the information to me. So Coach who by the way is a shit-zu looks into the ball and tells me what she see’s. I am certain there are skeptics out there rolling their eyes right now. I can’t tell you what she says since no one would under stand the dog translation anyway. However, Coach answers a series of questions from me in her muffled soprano yip yap and presto I have my predictions.
Now the reason I mention this is that have decided to start giving people advice picking ball game winners and I need some guinea pigs to prove my point. So anyone out there that likes to wager call me maybe “Coach” can help you. She has already told me that the Miami Hurricanes are going 11-3 this year and that Alabama will roll again. Now I can’t print what she said about Georgia, it might cause a huge drop in work production across the state due to depression.