Life, Liberty, and….. Headlines?

Published 11:11 pm Tuesday, October 20, 2015

I love to look at headlines because they are designed to entice you to read the entire story. Unless you’re me, then headlines entice me to try and figure out what’s really going on.
For instance, in a recent headline, John Kerry, our stalwart Secretary of State, “Calls for an end to Senseless Mideast Violence.” This plea came after an Israeli attack on some group of Arabs. My inference from the headline is that Kerry is unopposed to ‘sensible’ violence in the Mideast, such as the terrorist attack on the embassy in Benghazi a few years ago.
Senator Lindsey Graham, best described as a ‘sleeper’ candidate for the presidency, proclaims that “Carson and Trump don’t understand the war on terror.” Well now, that would not appear to me to be a fatal flaw in occupying the White House. Our sitting president, President Obama, considers climate change to be a bigger threat to national security than ISIS.
Speaking of President Obama, he recently came out and said that Hillary Clinton, while Secretary of State, did not compromise any national security by using a private email server for official State Department business communications, which was in direct contradiction to Department policies and United States penal code. Apparently this means she didn’t send or receive any emails concerning global warming or climate change.
“The Death Toll from Saudi Arabia hajj stampede climbs to at least 2110.”  This is an interesting figure because it’s almost half the number of American casualties in the Iraq war, 4491.  Of course, this highlights a fundamental difference between Christians and Muslims.  When was the last time you fired an AK-47 at a wedding reception?  For that matter, when was the last time you attended a funeral and the body got dragged out of the casket?  These things happen in the Middle East.
“Taliban did use bombed hospital as a shelter.” To be honest, I kind of saw this one coming.  When we were ramping up for the war on terror there was a big hullabaloo about using civilians as shields for military targets.  If the Doctors Without Borders don’t want to get bombed, they should stay out of the war zone. They probably shouldn’t spend much time in Chicago, either.
“Pastor shoots, kills hammer wielding intruder.” This item is from Detroit and involves two men who had a history of confrontations and a decided lack of interpersonal relationship skills. Police are trying to determine if the man with the hammer, the one who attacked the preacher with the Glock .40, was deranged. I’m guessing that he was.
“Rand Paul insists he’s not ‘toast’.” Obviously he’s not referring to the GOP nomination. Maybe Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham could replace those two weird guys in the Sonic commercials.  The difficult part would be deciding which one would be the ‘serious’ customer.
“Obama puts Iran nuclear deal into effect.”  Now, this should make John Kerry happy. Nothing says ‘sensible violence’ like a large mushroom cloud.  Of course, given the fact that ten percent of all suicide bombers blow up themselves and no one else, the odds are that Tehran may be the Chernobyl of the Twenty-First century.
“Country radio in trouble?” I’d say this is a ‘yes,’ since the last time I listened to country music on the radio, it sounded a lot like Rap.  Don’t get me wrong, just because I don’t ‘get’ Rap music doesn’t mean it has no place in society.  However, unlike chocolate and peanut butter, some things just don’t go together.
See y’all next week.