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Life, Liberty, and…… Politics?

By CLAY MERCER

Let me cover the Democrats in the 2016 Presidential race first, because they are the easiest.
Bernie Sanders has promised ‘free everything’ that anyone in America would ever want.  His plan to pay for it is to raise taxes on everything so that all the rich people leave the country and all the middle class people become poor.
He wants to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour because, face it, at $7.50 an hour, you can’t get enough in taxes to pay for all the free stuff he’s promised.  He wants to cut the work week to 25 hours because, face it, if you’re making $15 per hour, you quickly earn yourself out of that welfare check.
Hillary Clinton, the Queen of Denial, is going to lie herself into the White House.  Nothing that’s ever gone wrong for her, including the felonies she’s committed, the ethics violations, real estate scams, and illegal futures trading, has ever been her fault.  Once you overlook those things, what’s not to like?
The Republican candidates are another story.
Governor Kasich is mathematically exempt from gaining enough delegates to secure the election, but he’s still in the race.  Simply put, he’s my kind of lunatic and he’s honest about it, too.
Ted Cruz, the ‘establishment GOP’s’ candidate, is slowly self-destructing in a manner never seen before except on that Star Trek movie with Captain Kirk and his crew used a talking computer to blow up the starship Enterprise.
And then there’s Donald Trump.  The Donald.
First, let me mention those things about Donald Trump that I dislike: his hair.
Now, let me discuss the things I like about Mr. Trump, starting with the fact that the establishment GOP can’t stand him.  They can’t stand him because a) he can’t be bought, b) he can’t be controlled, c) he’s not one of them, d) because he’s not one of them, he’s not likely to maintain the status quo in Washington and that means, e) the establishment’s free ride in D.C. would be over.  That would be bad for them.
Another thing I like about Mr. Trump is that a bunch of key Republicans have said that if Mr. Trump gets the GOP nomination, they’re going to support Hillary Clinton in the general election.  Well, well, well, as the sailors say, “When the tide goes you, you find out who’s been swimming naked.”
The other thing I like about Mr. Trump is that people accuse him of being a) racist, b) misogynistic, c) a clown, d) a moron, and e) liberal.  Here’s the news, friends and neighbors: if Donald Trump were any of those things he wouldn’t be the most wildly popular presidential candidate since Ronald Reagan.
In fact, the worst thing (so far) to hit the news about Mr. Trump has been a revealing photo of his wife which was taken during her modeling career before they met.  I wonder why that is?  Well, the answer is that that’s the worst thing they can find, else it would already be out there.
But Clay, what about the mud-slinging by Mr. Trump?
Let me tell you something, June-bug, Donald Trump never drew first blood.  Whenever he’s said something abrasive about anyone else, it’s because they, from Rosie O’Donnell to Teddy Cruz, attacked him first.
The lesson I learned is to not call Donald Trump names.  The fact that Ted Cruz hasn’t learned that lesson is a strike against him, not for him.
But who’s going to win the election?  I have no idea, but it’s going to be an interesting year.